Should I Go Back?

I'm not sure what hit me, but this last week has found me thinking LOTS about going back into a classroom. I left a grade level position to take a library media specialist job 2 1/2 years ago. Here are the pros & cons of my job now:
Pros:
1. I get to see ALL the kids in the school during the week.
2. I get to work with a variety of grade levels (K-5).
3. I get to decide the purchases we make. (It's fun when you're buying new books!)
4. My work pretty much stays at work. (This has been nice since I have a little one at home; I do bring planning home & I peruse book catalogs & lit. review journals, but it's not an urgent/nightly matter).
5. I have lots of freedom to teach the way I want and not feel confined to a prescribed curriculum. I have goals and standards to meet, but it's flexible how this is achieved.
6. I get to help people every day.
7. I learn all the latest technology & gadgets to use in my teaching.
8. I'm less stressed.
9. I work with great people!

Cons to this position:
1. This is a very misunderstood position; Ideally, I'm supposed to support the teachers and work collaboratively with them. What it's more like: teachers drop their kids off for me to "watch" for 45 min. during the week.
2. Sometimes reading even the best story 6 times in a week is not fun.
3. When it rains, it pours - It always all hits at once. I have a class of 30 kids, 10 other students show up to check out something, a teacher needs tech support. I don't have that many hands!
4. The library becomes a "dumping ground" when students need a place to go (can't be in P.E. or recess, can't attend a classroom event, holiday celebration, etc.)
5. Teachers send me kids without any note or pass explaining why they are in the library, what they are to do, and when they should be back (despite my repeated efforts & pleas for them to use a pass).
6. I'm not treated as an equal by many of my peers. Some of my peers are great and try to include me in their planning and projects. Others look at me like "and what do you do all day?" They think I don't know anything about what they do (even though I was in their shoes for 6 years) and certainly don't want my help "teaching" anything to their students.
7. Technology; Because all the technology is bar coded & needs to be checked out through the library, it falls under my responsibility to disperse, trouble shoot when problems arise, and do the tech. work orders when needed. I love the gadgets, but people come and get me out of the middle of my class when something is wrong. One time the VCR wasn't plugged in. Often the quick fix is on a "direction" page I've created and included with the item. Many times it's over my head and they need call the I.T.s at our Help desk line. Really, it's only a phone call away.

I don't know what the right answer is. I feel good where I'm at, but it can be a lonely job sometimes. I miss seeing the growth of students like I saw when I was in the classroom. I miss knowing a core group of 30 students who are my "kids" for the year. But I guess that's the great part of education. There are lots of options available with the same degree. If you need a change, try a new grade level, take a little course work and try a different position. Lots of possibilities. As with anything, I'm fearful of change and then losing out on the unique position I have now. If I let it go, it won't be waiting for me if I want to come back in a few years. There are only 12 positions like mine in our district. There are hundreds of classroom teaching positions and new ones opening all the time. Only time (and prayer) will tell if this is my desire or God's to try something new again.

Mommy Brain?

You've probably heard the expression "mommy brain," which seems to be the new term for the forgetfulness that often seems to accompany pregnancy and motherhood. I found myself using this term when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I frequently feel silly for forgetting things in my everyday life; things that never would have slipped my mind in my pre-pregnancy, pre-motherhood state. I recently picked up a book from the library called Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes us Smarter. This book makes a lot of sense to me and brings a sense of relief when I often think, "What the heck happened to my mind?" The book looks at a variety studies of the brain and the active & inactive parts of the brain, especially focusing on pregnant women and mothers. The premise is this: mothers have so much more on their mind and are forced to multi-task way more than their non-mother counterparts that the brain is forced to work in a much more complex way. With the increased load of tasks and responsibilities, emotions, and physical exhaustion that accompanies motherhood, mothers feel that they are forgetting things and their brain is "slipping" in ways. The truth is that mothers have so much more on their plate that their brain is doing much more on a daily basis. So, we're not forgetting more, we're doing more. Makes sense for me. I am done with the phrase "mommy brain" and will advocate for moms everywhere that nothing is wrong with them. What a relief!

Hope

Hope - It looks so different depending on your life circumstances. This week I saw what hope looked like to my brother and his family. His daughter, my niece, has severe food allergies. She is deathly allergic to peanuts and has at least 15 other known food allergies (wheat, dairy, soy, all meats, glutens, and tree nuts, and others I can't recall). They've been faced with the reality that she will be going to school soon. Being an educator, I know my school and district take extreme precautions for severe food allergies & health concerns. But I can't guarantee that of my niece's school district. Needless to say, we are all very worried for the day she goes to kindergarten and her well being when away at school. This past week they tried an alternative treatment with acupressure and computer simulated allergin tests. The treatments went very well and will hopefully lessen the severity of her allergies over time. Anyway, they stopped by on their way home. I've never seen my brother so hopeful. After four long years and bad news after bad news of worsening allergies and new allergies cropping up all the time, he finally has hope that maybe his daughter can someday eat more foods and suffer less. I hope this, too.

Ghetto Cruisers

Ghetto Cruisers - we've all seen some form of these monstrosities. You know what I'm talking about - the souped up pieces of garbage that some people like to ride around in and think they look cool. Well here are a few from a message board my husband likes. Forgive me for the one with profanity; it's not very fitting for my blog. But these were just too good to not pass along.

Where Did the Summer Go?

I cannot believe how fast this summer has flown by. I feel like I just got out of work (probably because I have been in several times since my "last" day), but only two weeks are left before I go back.

Last week we sent our daughter to daycare to help her get back in the groove. We're sending her to the sitter once a week from now on so she can spend some time with the other kids and become familiar with this setting once again. As I dropped her off this past week, it was a different experience than we left off with this past May. She saw the house and started saying, "No, no, no" on our way in. I handed her to the sitter (who is such a warm & wonderful caregiver) and she cried, "No, Mommy, no!" I quickly ducked out before a bigger scene erupted, but oh, the heartache. My eyes welled up with tears on the way home as I realized that I would be back at work for real soon enough.

That was the first of my realizations that summer is coming to an end. The other is the lack of days on my calendar to finish those "I'll get to it this summer projects." I should give myself some credit - we've accomplished lots since both of us were home and have made some great memories with our daughter. I'll mark these as DONE - sealing & fixing the patio (thanks Brian!). moving the library, lots of play dates, sorting through lots of kid clothes, trip to MN, many afternoons poolside, Sox games, making over a rocking chair, starting a digital scrapbook, re-working my blog, weekend with the nieces, and more I'm probably leaving out.

Still to come - Harry Potter movie date, outlet mall date, Cougars game, painting the kitchen, painting the foyer & upstairs hall, back splash in kitchen, basement organization, planning for school/work, more play dates

Later this year - painting master bedroom & bath

The list goes on and on, but I can see after making all these lists (done and left undone) that summer has been devoted to some worthwhile projects and lots of family time. I'll focus on these positive thoughts to keep myself from the bitterness that creeps in when August rolls around.

Be Faithful in the Small Things

Yesterday I watched Joel Osteen's message about being faithful in the small things. This message was a really good one for me. My husband has been out of work for awhile, and it is imperative that we stay focused and keep living to our fullest potential even though it's hard and it doesn't seem fair.

However, this message applied even more so to our church life. We recently joined a newly formed congregation. Starting something new is hard. I get frustrated that sometimes services are poorly attended, especially in the summer. I am aggravated that only a handful of the members attend adult education. I would love to see new members flocking through our doors. I wonder if we'll ever get to the point where we will experience some substantial growth. Joel's message this week focused on being faithful in the small things, such as a small church just getting started. Our roots are so important to the growth God has in store for us. I should view this as an opportunity to develop myself spiritually and be faithful.

"So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." Galations 6:9

"He who is faithful in little can be trusted with much." Luke 16:10

Thank you, Joel, for helping me see that this is a season in my life to grow roots; a season in our church to grow roots. If something in your life is hard right now or you feel you are doing insignificant work, it is not insignificant in the eyes of God. Trust Him and be faithful that He is working in you right now to make your roots strong and big blessings are in store for your life.

Smells Like Popcorn

As a treat for some students who met a special goal I'd set for them, I provided popcorn during their lesson this week. I used a big popcorn maker in our lounge. It took me about 20 min. to prepare the popcorn I needed each time. (I've had a couple of rounds of making popcorn this week.) I had to laugh out loud several times at people's reactions to all this popcorn making. I would be going about my business and other adults would be in and out of the lounge. EVERY time someone came in the lounge, they mentioned something about the popcorn. Each person's comments were much like the person before.

Popcorn comments:
"Oooh, smells like popcorn."
"Oh, you're making popcorn."
"Smells good!"
"Popcorn sounds good right now."
"Wow, that smells great!"
"Are you making some popcorn?" (My response in my head: "No, I enjoy standing here by this machine.")

I laughed to myself and wish I had someone to share it with. So, here you go.

A Potty Post

I do not like public restrooms. I use them because I have to, but would prefer to wait - if I can - until I can be in the comfort of my own home. There is one particular part of the whole public restroom scene that really bothers me. It doesn't matter how clean or filthy the restroom may be, this problem still happens.

It bothers me very much when I enter a stall that someone has just finished using, and let's just say the person who just left also left quite an odor behind. It's usually my luck that this is the only stall available. I hold my breath as long as I can and don't dare inhale through my nose until I can get out of this confined smell-hole. But then I always think, "The next person who uses this stall after me is going to think I did this." I'm sure you've probably had this thought a time or two in your life. Kudos to the nice places that provide enough "good smells" to cover up the foul odors.

Not Really Missing It...

Our family, like many, has felt the recession. We're relying on one income and have cut spending in many areas. The hardest for me is not being able to save like we were. We are savers and not big spenders. So, it just feels wrong in a way to not be saving as much as before.

The strange reality is that I really don't miss the spending. It is hard, don't get me wrong. We've cut back on eating out. We never splurged, but we didn't really think twice when we were too tired to cook or wanted to be lazy on a Sunday evening. But it saves a lot to scale that back. Now, shopping...Sure, I like to go shopping, but it's now sort of a game. How can I get the most for my money without overspending? How many coupons can I find online or in the paper. One of my favorite sites is http://www.couponmom.com/. This allows me to view weekly sales for Target, Wal-Mart, and Jewel (and a few others). It also matches up any recent coupons issued and shows you the percent of savings. It's interesting and gives us max. savings when we find really good deals.

It's also funny how we find ourselves not as busy as before. This is mainly due to the fact that one of us can be home to take care of many household chores during the day (laundry, dishes, cleaning, yard work, etc.) But it's also partly because we're not running errands all the time. We don't really go to the store "for fun" and go only when it's really necessary. This has freed up our time to tend to household projects that have long been put off.

The most amazing thing is, as scary as it all looks on paper, God provides. We have committed ourselves to still give 10% of our current income and have continued to support our World Vision child. Would I love the extra $30 a month to do something fun instead of sponsoring our child? At times...but it keeps me humble. It helps me remember that God will provide and it will be okay. There are families who are stretched much farther than we are, and we are still very blessed. I'm also amazed at the weird refunds we seem to get lately in the mail (God takes care of us!). Examples: Several checks back from our refi in January, a refund from an overpayment to the doctor (what?), a refund on car insurance (really?); Every little bit helps and I'll take it.

It makes me wonder how our country got to this place. I don't just mean the overspending and living beyond our means. I was reading a book recently that talked about how a generation ago families lived on one income. We've become a society that needs more than one income to just get by. I thinks it's unfortunate and puts moms in a hard place. I enjoy working, but would like the option to only work part time. Many moms would rather stay home full time. But that's another story for another day.

If you find yourself with one less income, a pay cut, or just being a cautious consumer, you're not alone. We're all feeling the pinch in some way. God will see you through. Just have faith.

Easter Candy

So, now that Easter is here (and the day is nearly through), I'd like to know what your favorite (and least favorite) Easter candy happens to be. Here's mine:
1. Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs (not the large ones, but small & the size of a Hershey egg); I didn't know about these until this year. They are simply little bits of deliciousness!
2. Speckled Egg Peanut Butter M & Ms (I think the speckles are what really attracted me, but the taste is quite nice as well.)
3. Peanut butter/chocolate disks (usually individually wrapped & a bit larger than a chocolate coin size) - Note my theme of chocolate & peanut butter...
4. Robin Eggs (malted eggs)
5. Brach's jelly bean eggs (generic jelly beans are a big risk)
6. Reese's Pieces in the carrot shaped bag (Okay, I know they are no different than regular Reese's Pieces, but I'm a sucker for the way these are packaged.)

Dislikes
1. Giant, chocolate bunnies (especially generic versions); Hershey's are okay. I feel like I will never finish this monstrosity (and usually don't). Plus, it just doesn't taste great.
2. Peeps (These aren't great no matter how you do it; Even the stale ones aren't especially tasty.)

Superheroes Shouldn't Wear Capes

Do you know why superheroes should not wear capes? Because they might get sucked into an airplane engine. - Second grader

How about a Change?

Sometimes I get stuck in a rut. So, I decided to make some changes. I've now made my blog public. No more pictures (for now), and I'll have to see how personal I make the posts. I thought it would be fun to mix it up. Spring is here (well, it's supposed to be even though snow is in the forecast), and I also need a new start.

So, after getting a little flack from a good friend and my husband about NOT posting anything for a few months, I thought I just needed a change. Stay tuned...as I revive my blog.

Finally...a New Post

To any of my loyal friends/readers: I have been really bad about reading blogs, let alone posting. So, I think I'm going try something new with my blog. Stay tuned; more to come in the future.