Will I Remember?

It was one of those slow, lazy summer mornings; no rush; nowhere to go. Our three year old was running through the kitchen with her "Super Cutie" pajamas on (complete with cape that flutters behind as she runs). Our 10 month old was making silly faces in her high chair as she finished her breakfast. That moment was one that just filled my heart and made my eyes brim with tears of gratitude.

I turned to my husband and asked, "Do you think we will remember this moment of little ones, their noises and faces, and how very precious this time really is? Ten or twelve years from now when they are sassy teenagers and our lives are different in so many ways, will we remember these precious gifts God has given to us?"

Will I remember? I hope so.

Should I Go Back?

I'm not sure what hit me, but this last week has found me thinking LOTS about going back into a classroom. I left a grade level position to take a library media specialist job 2 1/2 years ago. Here are the pros & cons of my job now:
Pros:
1. I get to see ALL the kids in the school during the week.
2. I get to work with a variety of grade levels (K-5).
3. I get to decide the purchases we make. (It's fun when you're buying new books!)
4. My work pretty much stays at work. (This has been nice since I have a little one at home; I do bring planning home & I peruse book catalogs & lit. review journals, but it's not an urgent/nightly matter).
5. I have lots of freedom to teach the way I want and not feel confined to a prescribed curriculum. I have goals and standards to meet, but it's flexible how this is achieved.
6. I get to help people every day.
7. I learn all the latest technology & gadgets to use in my teaching.
8. I'm less stressed.
9. I work with great people!

Cons to this position:
1. This is a very misunderstood position; Ideally, I'm supposed to support the teachers and work collaboratively with them. What it's more like: teachers drop their kids off for me to "watch" for 45 min. during the week.
2. Sometimes reading even the best story 6 times in a week is not fun.
3. When it rains, it pours - It always all hits at once. I have a class of 30 kids, 10 other students show up to check out something, a teacher needs tech support. I don't have that many hands!
4. The library becomes a "dumping ground" when students need a place to go (can't be in P.E. or recess, can't attend a classroom event, holiday celebration, etc.)
5. Teachers send me kids without any note or pass explaining why they are in the library, what they are to do, and when they should be back (despite my repeated efforts & pleas for them to use a pass).
6. I'm not treated as an equal by many of my peers. Some of my peers are great and try to include me in their planning and projects. Others look at me like "and what do you do all day?" They think I don't know anything about what they do (even though I was in their shoes for 6 years) and certainly don't want my help "teaching" anything to their students.
7. Technology; Because all the technology is bar coded & needs to be checked out through the library, it falls under my responsibility to disperse, trouble shoot when problems arise, and do the tech. work orders when needed. I love the gadgets, but people come and get me out of the middle of my class when something is wrong. One time the VCR wasn't plugged in. Often the quick fix is on a "direction" page I've created and included with the item. Many times it's over my head and they need call the I.T.s at our Help desk line. Really, it's only a phone call away.

I don't know what the right answer is. I feel good where I'm at, but it can be a lonely job sometimes. I miss seeing the growth of students like I saw when I was in the classroom. I miss knowing a core group of 30 students who are my "kids" for the year. But I guess that's the great part of education. There are lots of options available with the same degree. If you need a change, try a new grade level, take a little course work and try a different position. Lots of possibilities. As with anything, I'm fearful of change and then losing out on the unique position I have now. If I let it go, it won't be waiting for me if I want to come back in a few years. There are only 12 positions like mine in our district. There are hundreds of classroom teaching positions and new ones opening all the time. Only time (and prayer) will tell if this is my desire or God's to try something new again.

Mommy Brain?

You've probably heard the expression "mommy brain," which seems to be the new term for the forgetfulness that often seems to accompany pregnancy and motherhood. I found myself using this term when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I frequently feel silly for forgetting things in my everyday life; things that never would have slipped my mind in my pre-pregnancy, pre-motherhood state. I recently picked up a book from the library called Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes us Smarter. This book makes a lot of sense to me and brings a sense of relief when I often think, "What the heck happened to my mind?" The book looks at a variety studies of the brain and the active & inactive parts of the brain, especially focusing on pregnant women and mothers. The premise is this: mothers have so much more on their mind and are forced to multi-task way more than their non-mother counterparts that the brain is forced to work in a much more complex way. With the increased load of tasks and responsibilities, emotions, and physical exhaustion that accompanies motherhood, mothers feel that they are forgetting things and their brain is "slipping" in ways. The truth is that mothers have so much more on their plate that their brain is doing much more on a daily basis. So, we're not forgetting more, we're doing more. Makes sense for me. I am done with the phrase "mommy brain" and will advocate for moms everywhere that nothing is wrong with them. What a relief!

Hope

Hope - It looks so different depending on your life circumstances. This week I saw what hope looked like to my brother and his family. His daughter, my niece, has severe food allergies. She is deathly allergic to peanuts and has at least 15 other known food allergies (wheat, dairy, soy, all meats, glutens, and tree nuts, and others I can't recall). They've been faced with the reality that she will be going to school soon. Being an educator, I know my school and district take extreme precautions for severe food allergies & health concerns. But I can't guarantee that of my niece's school district. Needless to say, we are all very worried for the day she goes to kindergarten and her well being when away at school. This past week they tried an alternative treatment with acupressure and computer simulated allergin tests. The treatments went very well and will hopefully lessen the severity of her allergies over time. Anyway, they stopped by on their way home. I've never seen my brother so hopeful. After four long years and bad news after bad news of worsening allergies and new allergies cropping up all the time, he finally has hope that maybe his daughter can someday eat more foods and suffer less. I hope this, too.

Ghetto Cruisers

Ghetto Cruisers - we've all seen some form of these monstrosities. You know what I'm talking about - the souped up pieces of garbage that some people like to ride around in and think they look cool. Well here are a few from a message board my husband likes. Forgive me for the one with profanity; it's not very fitting for my blog. But these were just too good to not pass along.